Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Welcome on board

And so the new chapter in our life has already begun. And it began right on time. Our tiny son came to this world exactly as it was said: on September 29 at 0.54 AM. This is just the Finnish way, they don't like to be late. So, how it was? As I mentioned in my previous post the waters broke on Friday very early in the morning, sometime between 5 and 6 AM. But I felt fine, no contractions yet. So the day started as usual. My husband took Wanda to her daycare and he went to work. But I felt not as usual. I was already so excited and happy that it finally started. And of course I've got this crazy energy for cleaning the house. I cleaned the bathrooms but stopped myself from vacuuming and other house chores. Instead I played my relaxation CD and fell asleep with it as usual. I was jumping on my ball. I called my sister and my mom. And some light contractions started. They were about 20 minutes apart and quite light, so I proudly made what I've learned during my HypnoBirthing classes, that is those long and slow breathing. And I waited what's next. I called the hospital and they said if nothing would changed I should show up at 5 PM, that is after 12 hours from the breaking of waters so they can check if everything is fine. We went all together with Wanda. They took us to a room where they could monitor the baby's heart rate. It took two hours and actually during that time my contractions started to be quite uncomfortable, intense and even quite painful and with a frequency of 10 minutes. So, around 7.30 PM the midwife asked if I want to go back home or stay there. We decided it will be easier if I stay there. So Adam and Wanda went home and I stayed in a room and waited what's next. After an hour the contractions were painful and around 9.30 PM they started to be more frequent, about 5 minutes apart. So after having them for 50 minutes I told about them the midwife and she said it's time to move to the delivery room. Another midwife, who stayed with me for my whole labor welcomed me there at around 10.40 PM. She gave me the ball, she brought me a warm pillow and put it to my back, she made a dim light and was very nice, asking what she can do for me. So first I was sitting on a ball and on a rocking chair and I still could do my slow and relaxing breathing during the contractions. But with every one which came next it was harder and harder to be up and so I lay down on a bed with that warm pillow and I still tried to be as calm as possible and relaxed. But I couldn't anymore because they started to be very painful. It started to be sort of a fight with every contraction and waiting for it to go away. My midwife asked, if I need any painkiller. First I said no, I can stand it. But after some time I asked for the laughing gas. I don't know if it was of any help, but at least I had something distracting to do, when I felt that the next contraction is coming. So I was breathing this funny air through the mask harder and harder. And I was no more relaxed and I couldn't think about my easy and gentle birth. I was in terrible pain and I had even the feeling of fear how much more I could stand and that I want it over. I don't know what time it was, probably around midnight when my midwife asked me again if I need any stronger painkiller and that the only thing is actually epidural. I said between contractions that I try to withstand from that, I try for some more time. She checked me and I was dilated 6 cm. The contractions were stronger and stronger, and still more frequent. I was gasping the gas like crazy, although it didn't seem to make the pain any lesser. Soon after that I started to have the urge to push and it was even harder to stand. I felt like my all inner organs are going to go out. She checked again - 9 cm. She said, good, it's going to be soon, you are doing great, good job, push, when you feel like doing that. But than she asked me to go on all four because the baby's heart rate is going down. She said it will help the baby. But being on all four during the contractions was almost impossible for me, cause I just didn't have enough power in my legs and arms. I was falling down on a bed. And than suddenly some other people came to the room, a midwife and a doctor. My midwife said they will help me, cause the baby should be born very soon. And that they have to use the vacuum. At that moment I was like in a different world, all overwhelmed with myself and my body and my pain and the only thing I wanted - I wanted to be done with that. And I pushed down, now screaming and crying "I can't any more! Can't stand it!!!!" but I could somehow, gasping the gas, not thinking, feeling that incredible pain and wanted to be over. They supported me: you can do it, it's almost over. It took maybe couple of minutes but I thought it's forever. I heard voices: just one more push, push when you are ready, when you have the contraction, push as much as you can, yes, good job. And than I felt that most incredible and most painful feeling ever when the baby's head was going through the birth canal. I thought it's my end, that this will tear my body apart into two. But it didn't. And instead after a moment the baby was outside. And I was trembling, shaking. My whole body was shaking like crazy, every muscle. And I've got him to my belly. Happy I guess, but at that moment I couldn't say what I felt. Most probably I could call it a release. A big "uff" and "that was that" sort of thoughts. I was lying on that bed calmly and so was my baby. Only when everything was over they told me the heart rate fell to just 50 bits per minute and that's why they had to make it as fast as possible although I was actually ready myself, so they only made sure there won't be any complications. Soon all the doctors left saying congratulations and I stayed again only with my midwife, who again had turned the lights off. She helped me to birth the placenta, she made some stitches and after all was done she just gave me my time with my precious newborn baby. We were lying there for two hours without any interruptions. I called my husband, actually I did it immediately after giving birth, like ten minutes after the baby was born. He was so proud of me. And ah, well, the new life was born. The new story has already begun. And you know what? Not long ago I had those thoughts about loving my second child and how it will be. There are no second thoughts any more. I'm totally in love with him, he's so cute and lovely and I have tons of love for him. And I still have the same love for Wanda as I had always before. There that was born not only a new child but also together with him new huge love. And this is a miracle of life. Now we are really a complete family.


  1. I am so happy everything went well for you! Congratulations!

  2. Oh, Im so proud of you baby! You did it all by yourself!!! Fantastic read, tears in my eyes. Huge hug, brave mama!