Friday, January 11, 2013

Glass half empty...

Yes. This is how I see everything right now in the middle of the Finnish winter. Is this the weather or some hormonal changes after pregnancy or something else I don't know, but my mood is just like it is: moody, gloomy, sad. The weather is bad. It is white, snowy, now came new white snow again so it covered the old grey one, but I didn't see sun for days and I know that for the spring I have to wait another at least three months. And that's a lot. When you go to downtown you can see more and more drunkards on the streets. It's disgusting, awful. And of course there are plenty of them in our neighborhood too, especially around metro station. Yesterday while being on a tram with my two kids there were three especially disgusting drunk bums. But I was surprised that no one on the tram said something although one of them almost puked on one young man. I would say something if I only could speak Finnish and I'm sure on a Polish tram people would react with a disgust to such a situation. In Finland they seem to be too discreet. And so such moments make me think over my all love to this country. I always saw glass half full from the very beginning. I appreciate everything what I get and experience here. But somehow recently I encountered couple of situations that made me ask myself: is this the place I want to live longer? I mean - longer that those five years as planned (and already 3 and a half are left). Those harsh and long dark winters, those bums everywhere (but really everywhere! like in the worst corner of a Central Railway Station in Warsaw years ago). But on the other hand every place have its pros and cons and probably after some time of living in one place you just start to encounter also the dark sides of the country. Well, I hope you have some better mood today and my gloomy post won't make you feel bad.

Monday, January 7, 2013

2013 - doesn't this look like a date from a sci-fi movie?

Time flies. Especially in December. Especially if you have to prepare Christmas, take care of your sick child and be a host for your family. So that was that. My daughter got very sick on December 15th, so she didn't go to the kindergarten for the whole pre-Xmas week. High fever, watching cartoons, reading books, taking care of a baby and trying to keep him away from the sick sister - impossible of course, so mostly praying for not catching the bug. And in a meantime (if there is any) doing some cooking and baking and shopping. It was quite a hard and chaotic week and I was worrying so much about Wanda. She was so weak, exhausted from the fever and she got an antibiotics, she lost appetite. You know - a really sick child. And she almost never gets sick. Last winter maybe twice she had some cold and nothing else. And than came the family. It was nice, but well... noisy. The kids got wild, adults got nervous, the baby couldn't sleep at all because of the chaos and noise. Everyone was coughing and so the baby started too. And so after everyone left we landed up by a doctor with our both kids. Wanda - ear infection equals antibiotics again and Tomaszek just this coughing and some syrup as a medicine. And so the days past up to the New Year's Eve. At home of course. Tired as hell. With a great glass of champagne. Today we finally came to our old rutine: Wanda's first day in her daycare, my husband at work. Me and the baby at home. And finally I have some time for myself. To sit with a coffee, to write some emails and this short note here. Oh, and I'm so sick of the winter!!!! Up to Christmas it was beautiful - white, the snow was so fresh and shiny. But then came the thaw and after that some frost again and so it's grey, the snow is dirty and icy, no sun at all. Gloomy time. I feel I need to go somewhere, at best without the kids. I need sun and vacation! And I know it is not possible in the nearest future.