Prespring remarks about myself

This last month past fast and I don't know how it's possible, but in a few days we will have April. I was sick, kids were sick, many days at home, mix of nice, sunny spring weather and awful grey, cold and wet condition, but somehow day after day, with no special events, went by. I was quite busy because of planing my future work. I went to pass a Finnish language test to determine what level am I. Not high, it is A1.3 exactly what I should be after those two semesters of my course, but at least not lower. It means I have learned what I was suppose to. Not bad. I started to search the Internet to look for job for myself. Not sure what I would like to do though. Big corporations? Some ngo's or some smaller companies? Maybe. I don't have a very precise idea, what kind of job I could do here. Still lots of mind work for myself. And actually because of that I am again, after years of denying it to myself, more and more eager to go back to writing, to journalism. Whenever I think about me working, I see myself it that role. I always liked my profession, I used to be good in it, so why changing my career path? And actually being quite independent, not having the strict office hours is good for me in our current family situation. Well, I don't know, I will try to apply to some selected places in Helsinki, where I feel I could fit and maybe will try again with Polish media. 

And back again in 2015

Hello and welcome back after shamefully long break of not posting any single word. After summer I sort of felt there is nothing to add about my life here about Helsinki and Finland or that everything I have already said or my life is boring enough to not writing about it at all or maybe I was excusing myself for being too lazy to write or not having enough time or whatever reason you could possibly find. Anyway, I was hoping to find out a new huge topic to post about to establish a brand new blog and to start my brand new blog-life and story telling. But nothing has come to me. On the other hand every week or so I do have something quite interesting to say or think about this simple life, those everyday events happening around me and my family or to comment about what is going on elsewhere. And so anyway, my New Year's resolution #1 is to continue this blog. Because I believe it is worth it. It is worth writing just for myself. Yesterday I went through some old and very old posts from the early days in Finland and it was such a warm feeling to read about my little daughter (how much has she changed since!) and my first steps in Finland (how much has my mind changed since!).

Because so much time has passed since my last post I would like to write a little about some past events. First a bit about our summer cottage experience. Second about my Finnish course which I started in September and now I am continuing it after the Christmas break. Third about my new routine having both kids in day cares and having some free time - not free actually, but kids free :). Fourth about my thoughts according to where do I belong to - those thoughts appear whenever I go to my home country. Fifth - about this and that as always on this blog, about my kiddos and their development, good and worse moods, weather etc.

My daughter's a writer

Our beloved four-and-a-half-year-old decided she would like to write a book, a story. So I bought her a big notebook and so she has begun. The idea came actually from her teacher. Recently Wanda had some pretty bad days either at school or at home and after thinking that whole situation over her teacher suggested it would be nice to write about good and happy and funny days to remember what fun it is to have good mood and be a happy Wanda and not to make a drama out of everything. Yes, sort of self-therapy. When I told my daughter about the idea of writing she was immediately in. And so the project started. I decided I would not tell her how and about what to write, she should be the master of her own book. I was supposed to be only the tool - she doesn't know how to write words of course. Now I see this will be a collection of short stories. Today we were working on a second one. She is telling me what to write and I am writing it down. Sometimes I ask a question if I don't get her point, but usually she knows exactly what she wants to say. Her characters so far are two girls having one name (in her first story their name was Rapunzel and in a second Wanda) and one of them is a good one and the other bad. Black and white. Two opposites. Good and bad. When I asked her what does it mean, she said it is like when she gets mad on something or someone, then there comes or wakes up this bad girl and when she is in a good mood there in her head is that good one. As simple as that. But I like how she deals with those two phenomenon in her mind. Those girls are really like one. She drawed pictures and both good and bad Rapunzel and good and bad Wanda look like twin sisters. They are playing together. And you know what, the bad one always turns out to be a nice and funny too. She wants to be good, she wants to play and have fun. And again when I asked my daughter if that bad girl makes something really bad or naughty, she said no, she was behaving bad but now she is happy again. Looking at her characters through the good and bad moments we experience almost every day I see so clearly how she fights with herself. How much she wants to be this happy and smiley Wanda and not this mad 'go away' moody one. I already love this project and will support her in continuing the work.

wondering about a future job...

Last days there are coming to me thoughts about what kind of job could I make in Finland after my second child will reach the age of a day care. I know, I still have pretty much time, but as we all know time flies like crazy and those two to three years will just go by like an express train. That thought came to me last Friday while I was chatting with a mom in Wanda's day care. She's the bread winner, she's Finn and her husband, a Canadian, is a staying at home dad (for three years now) and he has difficulties to find a job in Finland. I didn't ask what is his profession, but she mentioned that time to time he does some freelance job from home. But in any case I think he's still better of than me, cause he is a native English speaker with some Finnish too. And my English is so-so, I mean on a professional level, that is I don't think it is good enough to write a good article for Helsinki Times and my Finnish is literally zero. And what else than writing can I do? Of course a physical work, but maybe it's not necessarily what I'd love to do... I'm not sure if I want to go back to what I did for all those years in the States, that is writing for Polish newspapers and magazines. And why not? Cause I'd love to go out to work and not being stick at home all day long seeing only my laptop. That was OK years ago, when there were no kids at home and we both were working like crazy 24/7 and home was actually partly an office. But not any more. It's not a working environment (with toys, laundry and dinner around) and I really would like to have a possibility to dress nicely and see other people. And I know that all the mothers know exactly what I mean. But besides that there is also the money aspect. To have a decent salary for Finnish standards and earning that money in Poland as a freelance journalist is almost impossible. I mean I should've been able to write four to five really big and deep articles a month. Regularly, every month and this is for very good paying publishers, for others probably even eight. Being a mother of two at the same time not quite possible I guess. And that would be like killing myself only to make a living. Worth it or not? Now I think I should have taken some writing classes while living in the States. The university was there, I was on campus almost every day. And I didn't make an advantage of it. I know, I was busy working, but that was the right time to learn something new. And instead my English grammar and vocabulary are horrible. It's not a journalistic level. And it probably never will be. But still I hope during the coming years I will come up to some ideas. I'm usually optimistic about my job. I wonder what other people like me managed to do. Didn't make much research on that, but maybe I should. And there is always a possibility to write a book :) Anyway, have a beautiful day.