Sunday, February 19, 2012

Morning sickness

Well, yes, this is what makes my life unbearable for the last two weeks. And I'd be glad and happy if that would be only MORNING sickness. But this is all day long sickness, which makes me feel hopeless and miserable. On the weekends it's easier, Adam is taking care of everything, but during the week no matter how I feel I am still a mother. Wanda wants to play, so I sit with her and pretend to participate in whatever she does. She needs to eat and me too, but every opening of the refrigerator makes me sick even more. I just can't stand all those odors! Everything smells horrible of rotten food or else. So I'm struggling every day. Struggling with those stench, struggling with a tiredness and struggling with nausea. And please don't ask me, if I'm happy expecting a second baby. There is nothing like happiness in me now. But we always wanted to have two kids and the time was just now. We've finally settled down, Wanda is two and a half and those a bit more than three years of age difference seems perfect and my age tells me it's the right moment and I don't have that much more years to decide for a baby and finally now it's perfect time cause I don't work so I don't have to give up my career as it was when I was pregnant with Wanda. And I hope after another couple of years, when the second one will be two or three I'll start my own life again. *** I already was on my first pregnancy appointment. And I'm gonna tell you how it works in Finland. Pretty different than in the US and I guess different than in Poland. So, here there is a special nurse - nevula, who takes care of you while you are pregnant and after delivery she takes care of the newborn baby. But she's not a gynecologist either she's not a midwife. So during my first visit she didn't check if I am really pregnant. We've made just lots of paperwork and she explained me everything how it works here. So I will have one ultrasound in a hospital around 10-13 weeks to check for all those diseases like Down syndrome and other chromosomes. This is not obligatory, but of course I chose to have all the possible tests. And the second ultrasound is after week 20 to check if the baby develops OK and if this is he or she. My second appointment with the nevula will be only between 22 and 28 weeks and more often only after the week 30. So a little less medicalized than in the States, where every time I saw a doctor and my visits were every month and they checked the heartbeat and the size of my belly. Well, I don't know, I hope here they do know what to do.

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Expat wifes

Recently I've met a Polish girl. Her daughter has joined Wanda's group in a day care and this is how we've met. Very nice and warm person and an excellent example of an expat wife and an expat life style. Her husband is making his career in a big corporation, which sends him once in couple of years from one country to another. And well, yes, for eleven years now they are on a go. Some years in Moscow, some in Frankfurt, some in Budapest. They have three kids. He works long hours. And she is at home. During all those years she never worked cause how? How can you find a job in a country with a language you don't know and with no experience in that country and knowing that in three years you won't live there any more? So, any other options? Staying-at-home-mom-and-wife. And basically this is how most expat wives live. One of my friend manages to write a blog and she contributes to a moms website with her blog (she's from Holland and she writes in Dutch), so at least she makes something other people can read and appreciate, but it's only that blog and she writes about her kids and her mom's life... Another one I've met at the music class Wanda attends (soon there will be a post 'bout it) is moving from country to country with her husband, who works for an American embassy. Previously they lived in Cameroon and before for some years in another African country. The only women, who can work and who do work here are the ones who are married to Finns and who knows they will stay here for longer if not forever. So, they learn Finnish and they just settle down. For reasons. And what I am doing? What could I do during these coming years? So far I do nothing - I don't count this blog, cause it is still unofficial - for friends. I didn't write a piece since last summer. I don't have time and I don't have a power to find this time. I'm lazy I guess. And already I feel that my brain is melting, I'm losing my grey matter and white matter and I feel so stupid in case of knowledge! I miss the time I was writing like hell and interviewing the smartest brain in science. But in my current situation it's impossible. When? In the night at the kitchen table? And as my very personal situation has recently changed I won't have this possibility for another two or more years. But again. I do enjoy my life. And I meet here other women who are just like me so I don't feel like "everyone makes a career only me a desperate housewife". And I still believe one day I will go back again to my work and to myself. It's just now, for some years my expat life. Full of experiences though, only different, but maybe some day they turn out to be very fruitful. Who knows...

Friday, February 3, 2012

About language. Again

It's already a little bit more than half a year since we've moved here, but my language skills as for Suomalainen (Finnish) are basically the same. What means - close to zero. My Finnish vocabulary is more or less on a lever of a 10 months old baby with understanding of a newborn one. And so far I did nothing to change it. Why? Because still in most cases in most situations I meet every day I don't need it. And of course the lack of time for learning is another thing. But time to time I have to encounter a person who doesn't speak English. Like recently while I was making a doctor appointment. Well, on a phone the person managed to figure out what I need and she booked the appointment for me. But when I came to see the doctor I even didn't think that she wouldn't speak English. Well, I started with English and she says something in Finnish. I repeat, that I don't speak Finnish and she again says something I don't understand. Finally I went very slowly using my hands too and she realized what's my problem. We finally got to the point, but it's really awful feeling not to be able to articulate a single word. And the Finns are so polite that they always apologize for not speaking English. That's make me feel even worse, because I live in their country and I should learn at least some basics. But when is another question. When I checked all the schedules for Finnish classes nothing could suit me. Talking about language I'm thinking what to do with our daughter's day care. The English one is great but if taking full-time very expensive. One the other hand she started to really learn English, every time she comes with some new words and songs and it's so natural for her to learn it and she understands more and more. I'm still reluctant to change this day care into a Finnish one. This can make such a distress - new place, new language she doesn't understand a word and all the kids, who can perfectly communicate in that language. But it costs almost nothing comparing with the private one...