In any sense of those words it is different. When I compare how were my feelings towards Wanda after she was born and how are they now. With Wanda I was in a euphoric state, my state of mind was pure happiness, I felt like I was not walking any more but flying overwhelmed with total joy. But soon after came stress about everything I was doing with her - what does that crying mean, should I do this or that - and to find answers I was rushing to my books like "The happiest baby on the block" or on the other pole of the scale Tracy Hogg Baby Book. And I was frustrated because my baby didn't work like babies in the books. And now is different. I'm so totally calm and relaxed so far. I trust myself, my intuition and my love. I don't rush to any books. I'm enjoying the moments having my baby on my belly. I just follow him and myself. And it makes me feel good. But also I don't have that euphoria. It doesn't mean my joy and love is any less than with Wanda. No, it is just very different. I feel so peaceful. I feel that our family is so complete now. I love this tiny creature - this tiny miracle of life. I enjoy every minute with him. I'm so happy but in a calm and peaceful way. Different are also the objective conditions. The standard of life we have here comparing to the one in the States. It makes a huge difference. When our daughter was born it was mid July in New Jersey. If any of you is familiar with the weather conditions out there knows that it is usually 35C and very humid and no wind and no clouds at all. And we had a poor AC so in our apartment was hot and unpleasant. The AC working full time made that horrible noise. It was impossible to take the baby outside cause any later than 6 AM it was too hot already. So for the first month I was literary stuck in our bedroom. And now we have very nice and comfy apartment, the weather is like you can see - cool, but it's October already. I have everything I need for me and the baby, my husband has two weeks of paternal leave and he's relaxed too. So, anyway it's just this good feeling that everything is all right and right on time and in a right place.
this is wonderful. we are thinking of having #2 in finland. im hoping for a similar feeling, reaction. i will love to follow what you guys do in the mean time. and i SO hear you about the states in july! i was born in Michigan in mid-August and i wonder how the heck my mom survived!
ReplyDeletesuch a lovely post. it's such a wonderful feeling to just be and savor the moments and the miracle of babies.
ReplyDeletemy daughter is having a baby in may. she has started to arm herself with books. she asked if i had books to advise me. i told her... parenting books seem to contradict themselves if you read long enough.. parent with your heart right or wrong. :)
have great day. the sun is shinnng on us today for a bit.
xo
Thank you for your lovely comment. It is so truth! I wish all the best for your daughter. yes, the sun today makes me smile :)
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